“Moving on is a simple thing. What leaves behind is hard.”
The most common feeling an individual can feel is to LOVE and be LOVED. They said it is the simplest yet complex feeling one can go through because in LOVE, a person can experience total happiness yet after the sunshine a storm must occur to test the foundation of the relationship. Sadness must be felt, painful though yet it is said to be inevitable, for without it we may not be able to test if it is genuine or not. Without pain there is no gain. Pain must be gone through; it is included in the process of molding one’s character. It is designed by God for us to be strong and be mature, for when the right one comes along we are strong enough to take the risks again.
Funny, it is. Two strangers met without knowing what will happen in the future. They go with the flow, following every beat of their hearts without taking into account the consequences of following it. Getting to know each other, laughing with old jokes and cheesy lines, holding hands while walking, going home together, uttering sweet words such as “I love you”. (Well as far as everyone is concern, I love you is not a question but why does everyone requires to be answered if they said that 3 magical words?) The first three months of the relationship is like heaven. The boy is so caring, loving and gentleman, while the girl remains to be conservative and demure. These months were the happiest months of their lives, no fights, no disappointments, no pains and no commitments (maybe there is but it is in the process of building) just pure enjoyment and seizing the moments together. Let us put these things on a microscope.
The boy, at first, is persistent. They said, they are willing to wait. They do everything just to win the girl’s heart. Their extravagance is amazing; they spend thousands just to take a girl on a date, watch movies, and eat at a fabulous restaurant. They are eager to hold the girl’s hand, to kiss her chicks or lips, and to accompany her everywhere she goes. Wow! Very persistent, and if a girl’s heart is sensitive then who can’t be moved? Maybe this is the reason why a lot of girls love the courting stage. In this stage, the girl is so conservative and demure. They love to hear sweet words from the boys and of course they enjoy the company because they know they are secure and safe with them. They are starting to build the trust, the boys earn from doing all those things. Trust isn’t easy to give; it is the hardest thing one can give to another person. For when it is broken it can be restored yet distorted. That is why girls are very sincere in going through the courting stage, because in this stage they will get to know the boys very well and eventually will give their hearts to them. (Now both of them is ready to take the risks) Happy couples, they are but little do they know that after going through these steps, it is time to take the relationship into the next level. If both parties are serious then the things that are present in their relationship is not just love but also commitment, trust and respect.
Whooa! Maybe while reading this, most of you are imagining that point of time in your relationship. Relax, it is not the courtship or the happy things we will discuss, it is the next level of the relationship, the time wherein storms are coming and the shaking of foundation occurs.
The next level of the relationship is the time where both parties know each other and have been familiar with each other for a very long time. This is the stage where boys get too insensitive and girls become too sensitive. Upon interviewing a boy, he said that the things he did when he was still courting the girl he likes were not pretentions, however, he felt something strange that the girl became so used to it and if he did nothing the girl gets disappointed. Hmmm… Is this really the issue of the boys? I don’t think so. It is not the sweet things the girl needs but the sincerity and the persistence. As time goes by, the boys get too preoccupied by the girls because girls became possessive without them knowing. For the boy’s information, they just have a basis. The point of their reference is the courting stage. However, boys don’t get this thing right. They keep on defending their selves. Either way.
Now, there is misunderstanding, miscommunication, lack of trust, lack of respect and eventually it may turn out to falling out of love. Whooa! After the sweet words spoken? After the movie marathon and food trips, the result is this? Is this a joke or what? One of them, as time goes by, will become irritated by the presence of the other. One becomes realistic while the other remains to be idealistic. Instead of growing up, both of them became immature. They start to utter hurtful words, start to curse each other, start to cry and start to feel the pain. What goes wrong? Does every relationship require these things?
Sad isn’t it? How about you’re too in love with that person and you know yourself that you’re in pain because of that love. Because of that love you become too possessive in other people’s eyes but in your eyes you know that you’re just protecting the person. You don’t know what to do, you’re being judged not just by other people but by the one you love too. The one you love feels suffocated, lack of freedom and thinks that your being possessive is killing him/her. Sad, very sad. You don’t get any text or call from him/her. No more updates about their lives, no more feeling of being needed by that someone. Sooner or later, that someone will ask freedom or space from you and you have no choice but to give it to them even though you know it could kill you.
A lot of questions in your mind, yet it can’t be answered because even if you ask, answers will not come. You get confused of whether he/she still loves you or not. No evidence to prove all of your confusions and speculations. This stage isn’t easy, it is like you wanted to win the fight but you’re alone and you can’t go on your own because you need to be with that someone. This is the most painful experience one can undergo. It is not required to feel this kind of pain that is why you keep on asking why is this happening and what goes wrong? Is it me? Or is it him/her? In the end, you find yourself tired out of being the one who fights, tired out of being judged, tired out of being left out and tired out of being in love. You give everything but in the end you’re bankrupt, you didn’t even receive a single cent from that someone. See? How can you give more if you have received less? Eventually, you give-up thinking that you are a loser and that you’ll never take the risk of falling in love again.
This is the game of love; this is the game of every relationship. Some say that it is just a storm; the two of you must overcome. Some say that it is a proof that you are not meant for each other. For me, I can say that God has designed pain for us to become strong and mature. Even if we fall so many times, moving on is not an option because it is the only action we must take. It is a way of accepting reality. Why is moving on so hard for us? Maybe because of the memories we leave behind. But if we accept things with arms wide open, and ask the guidance of God to lead us back in track again. This is painful; all of us know but after undergoing this process all the pain will be worth it. The best way to move on is to move away with somebody and this somebody must be God. With Him, all our pains and sufferings will vanish for He doesn’t want His children to suffer. Even if we feel uneasy at first, in the end we’ll realized that we are winners because it is us who experienced this extraordinary incident that makes us strong and more dependent on the will of God that someday “THE RIGHT ONE FOR US WILL COME”. And if that day will come WE ARE READY for another breath taking experience of falling in love again without minding the pains and risks we will take.
Moving on is a simple thing. What leaves behind is a memory worth just for remembering.
